The Left

The Left: Necessitous Opportunities

By David Glenn Cox The economy shows improvement in Northeast Ohio. But, I’ve learned from my travels and travails that whatever is happening on my side of town, doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any improvement on your side of town or even, three exits down the interstate. I do find it a strange coincidence, the improvement […]

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The Right

The Right: GOP Clueless at Selling Their Brand

By Brian Lonergan The mid-term elections are almost upon us, and many Republicans are eagerly anticipating a 2010-like wave election that will sweep Harry Reid from the Senate majority leader post. This is due much more to what Democrats are doing wrong than what Republicans are doing right. The nation is undoubtedly weary from six […]

Short and To the Point…

  • We were told that our health system was ready for Ebola!!!!! Not sure now!!!

  • Isis, we were told twenty or thirty thousand fighters!!!!! Not sure now!!!!

  • Obamacare was going to reduce rates!!!! Ask Medicare cardholders if they are sure now!!!

  • Our representatives in Washington look after our best interests!!!! Not sure now!!!!

  • Former leaders writing books about their time working at the White House and Washington DC, they are not sure now!!!!!

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

boomer humor

A beaten, undersized bear was found dead in Central Park of all places by a shocked jogger. Before the bear died, he removed his bowtie and whispered to the jogger, “Tell Yogi…I-I misunderstood him. I thought he said, ‘Hey Boo-Boo. To get a lot of honey, be a little b-e-a-r in the woods of Central Park.’ What he really said was, ‘To get a lot of money, be a little b-a-r-e in the woods of Central Park.’ I found out—the hard way. I asked some muscular guy in leather for honey. He then paid me $50, removed his pants, whipped out a pair of handcuffs and a nightstick and got rough on me. Worse, he got real mad when I recognized the handcuffs and nightstick belonged to Park Ranger Smith from Jellystone Park—then I recognized the leather man WAS Ranger Smith! Now—I’m about to die…put my body in a pick-a-nic basket in Jellystone Park. And tell Yogi to maul Dan Ackroyd for badly doing his voice in that awful Yogi Bear movie. ”

Well, another once ubiquitous rock star has left the planet. Paul Revere, organist and leader of the once-famous 1960’s rock band “Paul Revere and the Raiders,” died at the age of 76. Lead singer of “the Raiders,” Mark Lindsay sadly recounted visiting Paul on his deathbed: “Yeah, he was old but when I last saw him, he was alive and kicking. But then he said that kicks just keep gettin’ harder to find, and all your kicks ain’t bringin’ you peace of mind. Before you find out it’s too late, girl… I then recognized it was our song ‘Kicks’ and he wanted to sing lead on it. I told him, ‘Hey, man. I’m the lead singer, not you, so I quit the man and went solo.”

Tim Cook, the CEO Apple, has announced the latest cutting edge listening technology which will be out soon—after we get the bugs out of it. Mr. Cook said, “We took the hologram technology that looked as if the late Tupac Shakur was singing at the recent ‘Coachella’ concert and combined it with iApple Tunes to create what we call ‘Rock Heaven Hologram.’ People can now see and hear their late stars. But—like the dead people it temporarily raises from the dead, it has bugs in it. We did a hologram All-Star concert with the late Big Bopper, Karen Carpenter, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin. It was a disaster. Karen Carpenter kept asking for food, the Big Bopper ate Karen Carpenter, Jimi and Janis kept asking for heroin and Jim Morrison wouldn’t go on unless he got top billing. We cleared the stage by making a hologram Linda McCartney. Her ‘singing’ voice was so bad, it made the hologram stars vanish…for good!”

A team of professional burglars stole several priceless pieces of memorabilia from the Yogi Berra Museum & Learning Center in Montclair, New Jersey. They even went outside to the road adjoining the museum and stole Yogi’s best malaprop: “When you get to a fork in the road, take it.” A police spokesman noted, “The thieves took all of Yogi’s gloves–or what most people would call useless, oval pieces of decaying brown leather worth thousands of dollars to dopey guys who collect useless, oval pieces of decaying brown leather. But strangely, they left what we thought was just another decaying chunk of mushy leather—but on further inspection, the brown object was Mickey Mantle’s original liver.”

Derek Jeter has started a new company! Based on Mr. Jeter’s substantial returns from his year long “Farewell Tour;” where he was non-stop gifted for breaking up from baseball, he has created a company called “Your Personal Farewell Tour—which offers advice to male celebrities who are constantly breaking up with their girlfriends.” Leading off on Jeter’s new team will be: Leonardo DiCaprio. Mr. DiCaprio said, “Like Jeter in his prime and with his guidance, I’m doing a year-long farewell tour where I’ll take a year to say farewell to enough ex-girlfriends/models to fill Yankee Stadium–who will then gift me for breaking up.”

The Trump name will be coming off the shuttered Trump Plaza casino in Atlantic City. Ivanka Trump said that Trump Entertainment Resorts began to remove letters spelling out the “Trump” name on the casino’s exterior,” only to find out that what is called a concrete combover was fine until a strong gust of wind blew the “cover-up” to the side, showing the real ‘Trump’ in all its glory. Ivanka then said she hired Johnny Depp to do the job because “he has experience in covering up sore spots—like that ‘Wynona Forever’ tattoo he put on his arm when he was dating Wynona Ryder. After he broke up with her, the tattoo became ‘Wino Forever.” For Dad, he promised he’ll put on the casino’s exterior ‘Whiner Forever.’”

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Advanced Directives-Allow Your Wishes To Be Heard

By Evan Martin, Medical Student Have you ever wondered what would happen if you became ill and were unable to articulate what treatments you preferred? The treatment you would decide on or prefer being ‘guessed’ by family members and medical providers. These are very real and tough decisions for anyone to make especially during emotional times. Having your wishes documented […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Urban Outfitters, which markets and makes hipster clothing, released what might be its most tasteless creation yet: a Kent State University sweatshirt adorned with what appears to be blood stains. As “some” non-baby boomers may not know, Kent State was home to the 1970 massacre in which four students were killed by National Guard soldiers. Urban Outfitters said they will […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Rocker Alice Cooper is giving his fans a chance to own his old clothes after opening a thrift store in Arizona. “Alice’s Attic” will be stocked with pieces from the “Welcome to My Nightmare” hitmaker’s personal collection. On hearing the news that someone is making money besides them, rockers Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley announced that they are opening “The […]

Ebola–What is known

Ebola—Part 1—What is known Ebola was discovered in 1976. The virus got its name from a river in the Congo. It appears that the natural host is probably the bat. The original focus of infection was in the Congo basin in central Africa.  It belongs to the Filovirus family.  There are four subtypes of the virus, with three causing disease […]