The Left

The Left: Empty Playgrounds

By David Glenn Cox Age is funny, well not funny but a sort of double helix thing, passing and observing ourselves through strange windows along the way. This is the fiftieth anniversary of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and I remember the first time it aired. Whoa, I have clear recollections of the events on a […]

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The Right

The Right: The GOP’s Teachable Moment for Women, Minorities

By Brian Lonergan Post-midterm autopsies are being conducted on failed Democratic campaigns around the country, and the causes of death are no mystery: the lockstep voting record with Barack Obama, the debacle of Obamacare, and the general sense that the country is on the wrong track with the current leadership are the most cited reasons. […]

Short and To the Point…

  • Congress gives back to Wall Street activities that got us in the "financial mess" What is going on????

  • CIA transgressions?????? Are there penalties??? Who oversees??? Is there a " buck stops here" individual"'

  • Bill Cosby!!!!!!! When is enough enough????? I am sure many people knew over the years of his transgressions.!!!!

  • Police!!!!! We must respect authority!!!!!!There will always be a few bad apples!!! Hopefully very few!!!!

  • Republican controlled Congress----hopefully the last two Obama years can produce some working together!!!!

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

boomer humor

Ronco Records has just unleashed an info commercial for the uninformed masses:

It’s the “Bill Cosby Christmas Album!” Yes, America’s ex-favorite comedian joins up with the “Peter Lemongello Orchestra” to celebrate the Yule time; with such Cosby favorites like:

“Roofie The Red Nosed Reindeer”
“Santa Cos Is Really Coming To Town”
“Oh Come All Ye Unfaithful”
“Do They Know It’s Christmas…Or Where They Are?”

And, if you order now, we’ll throw in as a bonus, “Phil Spector, Live from San Quentin!” which includes his Prison Wall of Sound hit, “All I Want for Christmas Is My Toupee…and Two Front Teeth Too.” As Bill Cosby would say, “This album is what I call a Special Stocking Stuffer because you can stuff it on Christmas Eve and the next day it’ll forget it was stuffed…by me!”

Rock star Sting is joining the cast of his Broadway musical “The Last Ship,” calling it a bold gamble to save the show from sinking. Sting, 63, will appear from Dec. 9-Jan. 10 as the foreman of a struggling shipyard; replacing actor Jimmy Nail. A desperate Sting noted that “If me replacing one actor doesn’t work, I’ll replace two more with ‘actor’/musicians named Andy Summers and Steward Copeland. If people still won’t come to see “The Last Ship,’ then I’ll rename the play ‘Reggatta de Blanc.’ And if people don’t like the songs in me play, I’ll replace them with new songs called, ‘Message in a Bottle,’ ‘Walking on the Moon’ and ‘The Bed’s Too Big Without You.’ And if I turn out to be the actor no one comes to see, I’ll replace me with Christopher Walken. After all, he was on the boat when Natalie Wood drowned, so he has experience with something dead in the water—like me play.”

U2 frontman Bono suffered numerous serious injuries requiring two surgeries after a cycling accident in New York’s Central Park. Bono complained that his manager mocked him by saying, “Bono baby. I said your I-Tunes record would go and crash Apple. I didn’t say go and crash in the Big Apple.” I-Tune listeners who received (but didn’t want) U-2’s album for free reacted by flooding Bono’s e-mail account with condolences for his mangled bike.

New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo announced, “Snow filled Buffalo, New York should prepare for the worst by making evacuation plans for the next potential disaster—the New York Jets playing the Bills next year.”

Bill Cosby’s latest biographer, Mark Whitaker, apologized by Tweet for failing to discuss the sordid side of Mr. Cosby in his just-published 500-plus-page book called “Cosby: His Life and Times.” The novel steered clear of the sexual abuse allegations made by multiple women over the years. Similarly, Charles Manson’s latest biographer, Jeff Guinn, apologized for not adding in his “Manson” novel “how Mr. Manson aspired to be Bill Cosby by once performing stand up comedy; allegations made by Mr. Manson’s multiple women over the years. However, Mr. Manson’s audiences’ reception to his horrid material turned him bitter and to a life of crime. Mr. Manson’s “jokes” included:

“Take a life—please.”
“A guy comes up to me and says, ‘Charlie. I haven’t had a bite for a week’—so I shot him.”
“My 33 wives said me to “Charlie. Take us to a place we’ve never set foot in before.” So I took ‘em to the kitchen—Sharon Tate’s kitchen.”
“So one day, I accidentally stab myself in my right hand. I go to a doctor and say, ‘Doctor. It hurts bad. Will I ever play guitar again?’ My doctor says, ‘Everyone knows you could never really play guitar. Why do you think the Beach Boys never signed you to a contract in 1968?’ So I shot him.”
“Jeez, why ain’tcha laughing? Some audience you are!! It’s like playing to an oil painting. I get more laughs at my parole hearings.”

Many in New York City have complained about the aggressive costumed characters in Times Square, but one little girl may have come up with a solution. Kamila Filshtinskiy 6, believes all hugs should be free. So Kamila launched an Indiegogo campaign to buy all the Disney costumes available and drive away the characters who harass tourists for tips. She noted, “Because if they don’t have the money, they become sad so I want to make it free.” This did not sit well with the costumed characters who didn’t appreciate their livelihood being threatened. The FBI broke up a plot hatched by the costumed Mario Brothers, who vowed that “Kamila Filsh will sleep with a fish—or two.” The two-man crime family and costumed Snow White’s Evil Queen trick Kamila to eat a poisoned apple; which knocks her out. Bruce “The Batman” Wayne then threw her in the trunk of his Batmobile. The plan is later thwarted when the dim-witted Batman’s idea of a disguise was not wearing any disguise. He was later identified as ex-star but now bankrupt Burt Reynolds.

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Review of Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commander, authors Phil Robertson and Mark Schlabach

Review by Tammy Ruggles This book is co-written by Phil Robertson, the father of “The Robertson Clan”, as they’re sometimes referred to by fans of the Duck Dynasty show on the A&E network. In it he tells his life story, and how he started out in extreme poverty, started a business, and saw it flourish when he handed it over […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

That old (psychotic) romantic and ex-Beach Boys composer Charles Manson plans to marry Afton Elaine Burton, a 26-year-old woman who left her Midwestern home and spent the past nine years trying to help exonerate him. When asked how he proposed to her, Mr. Manson said, “Well, when you’re in prison, it ain’t too safe to get down on one knee. […]

Review of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Tea

By Tammy Ruggles Celestial Seasonings, a Colorado company, has been in the tea-blending business since 1969, and it has many teas to offer, from detox teas to energy shots. But this review is on a particular line of tea of theirs, Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Tea, which may be of interest to those over 50 who have trouble falling asleep or […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Jerry Seinfeld has created a spinoff to his WEB hit, “Comedians in Cars” called “Dead Comedians In Cars.” In the pilot episode, he rents out a hearse and picks up Joan Rivers’ corpse. When told that this show might be in even worst taste than his “The Marriage Ref” show, Jerry balked, “Yadda-yadda. What’s the big deal? So I’m giving […]