The Left

Burnt Candles

By David Glenn Cox     I find one of the most interesting aspects of life, history and time, is in seeing the decades distilled, pasteurized and homogenized. Sanitized for our protection, the Vietnam War becomes “Full Metal Jacket” or “Apocalypse Now” the pullers of strings and profiteers are washed from the scene, leaving behind […]

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The Right

In Email Scandal, Hillary Channels Tricky Dick

  By George Hewes The 90’s called. They want their Clinton scandals back. There is no way those liberal die-hards who proclaimed themselves “Ready for Hillary” were ready for what took place recently. While her supporters envisioned a Hillary Clinton campaign that would remind voters of the more positive elements of the Bill Clinton presidency, […]

Short and To the Point…

Hilary Clinton!!!!!! Erasing all e-mails may cost you the presidential nomination !!!!! Can we believe you????

Iran!!!! Causes trouble everywhere!!!! Can we negotiate a nuclear deal with them???? Can they be trusted???

Airline pilots-----Is their physical and mental health monitored???? If not!!!! Why not????

President Obama!!! Do you have a unified, understandable policy on the Mideast ???

We are told the economy is improving???? Is this true???? Hard to tell !!!!!

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

ESPN college basketball analyst Dick Vitale gave Kentucky super fan Ashley Judd an extremely awkward and full lip kiss. When asked if smooching Ms. Judd “did anything for him,” the 75 year old Mr. Vitale said, “Nope. Baby, at my age, my wife calls my empty testicles what I call on TV: air balls.” After the kiss was finally over, Ms. Judd felt someone tapping her on the shoulder then heard Brent Musberger asking, “Is it too late to ask for sloppy seconds?”

Robert Durst, the heir to a New York real estate fortune whose bizarre involvement in three deaths has baffled prosecutors for decades, made what appeared to be a confession in a HBO documentary. Not realizing he was still miked, he said, “What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course.” When asked if this was him finally confessing to his crimes, he said, “Of course not! I was just reading what I saw written on my bathroom stall. It said, ‘What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course. Love, OJ Simpson…and underneath him was Joseph Mengele, Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper…then the name of a good lawyer.’”

Has Bruce Jenner got even more plastic surgery? TMZ reports that the 65-year-old former Olympian, who is the midst of a gender transformation, underwent a nose job a few weeks ago. Mr. Jenner confirmed the rumor by saying, “Yes, I got a new nose. My old nose was in a book. I mean, it was in my Chromebook where I was e-mailing my doctor–right before I got in that fatal car accident. But I just sold my old nose on E-bay to Elton John.” An irate Elton John hissed, “Talk about false advertising—The only reason I bought that nose was ‘cause Jenner’s ad said, ‘Buy a piece of Bruce that you can blow every night.’”

Tiger Woods will open his first restaurant in Florida later this spring to be called, “The Woods Jupiter: Sports and Dining Club.” He also plans to build an adjoining bar called, “The 19th Hole.” Tiger said, “The last time I said I spent a night in ‘The 19th hole,’ my ex-wife found out about all of and took a golf club to my car–and me.”

Famed actress/singer/daughter of Judy Garland Liza Minnelli is back in rehab. She said she knew she had to do something when she held a seance and asked her late mother via a Ouija Board for help. Liza said, “I meant to write, ‘Mama. I will always love you and how you made me laugh! I so want to laugh again. Please tell me your best joke!’ But in my usual drunken state, I misspelled two words and ‘Please tell me your best joke,’ came out as ‘Please sell me your best coke.’ Mama then wrote back, “Buy your own blow! Up here, I only have enough coke for me and Amy Winehouse…and Jim Morison…Jimi Hendrix….”

Judging from the social media response to its #RaceTogether campaign, Starbucks is serving more than it asked for! Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz asked his employees to voluntarily write #RaceTogether on the paper cups. But the campaign has been mocked—then copied by a competitor. That is, 711’s CEO, Joseph DePinto, has asked his employees to write on all “Slurpees” the term “Racial Slurpees.” The customer would then write every racial slur he could think of, then return the cup to 711’s Headquarters in Oklahoma City. There, the cups and the slurs will be burned in a bonfire called “The Sizzling of the Slurs.” Mr. DePinto reasoned, “Once all the slurs go up in flames, this will finally rid America of all racial slurs!”

Skilled self-promoter Rev. Al Sharpton announced that, “The reason all those kids in Brooklyn whupped that girl in that McDonald’s was because they didn’t know that ‘Black Lives Matter.’ Just for them, I will now start a special movement called ‘Brown Lives Matter.’ I’m talking about the white on brown problem. I’m talkin’ about the mauling and murdering of ‘Gingerbread Men;’ where even though they run and run as fast as they can, they are caught and mauled by the white man; leaving their Gingerbread Women to take care of their children. I say no justice! No piece—of that brown man’s limbs!”

A spokesperson for England’s Judicial Conduct Investigations Office confirmed that District Judge Timothy Bowles, Immigration Judge Warren Grant and Deputy District Judge and Recorder Peter Bullock have been removed from judicial office for watching porn at work. The spokesperson, Sir Gary Glutter, said, “It’s their own bloody fault. They should be like real Brits and keep a stiff upper lip and not get stiff from looking at lips. Here come da judges indeed!” The judges were rehired when it was discovered that the obscene material were two BBC shows called, “Breakfast Foods of Great Britain” and “The 2015 Spice Girls in Concert!”

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POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Some HUGE, familiar pieces of New York City sports history are going on the auction block — courtesy of a baseball superstar. The 10-foot-high letters that spelled “Y-A-N-K-E-E S-T-A-D-I-U-M” atop the original Bronx ballpark will be auctioned at Sotheby’s on April 1. The owner is Yankees legend Reggie Jackson. “Mr. October” then revealed that “a gentleman who played at Yankee […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Details of the latest installment of “Hot Tub Time Machine, Pt. 3” have been released. In this latest shameless money-grab, the time travelers find themselves in a hospital room in the year 2050–and find themselves with Bobbi Kristina Brown who is still in her never-ending coma. Suddenly, Whitney Houston’s daughter groggily awakens just as a 112 year old man shuffles […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Stevie Wonder’s daughter, Aisha, who can be heard crying as an infant in Mr. Wonder’s 1976 hit song “Isn’t She Lovely?,” is suing her father for “extensive child abuse and severe mental anguish.” The lawsuit reveals that “Mr. Wonder knowingly and maliciously recorded an alternate version of ‘Isn’t She Lovely?’ to discipline said plaintiff. Whenever Aisa misbehaved, Mr. Wonder would […]

Is Yoga the Answer to your Back Pain

“Is Yoga the Answer to your Back Pain?” By: Asha Nookala UMKC-School of Medicine Pain is both a common patient complaint & a difficult process to treat. Unlike the common cold, this disease process can plague a person’s life for weeks, months, or years. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that can cure pain. 100 million American’s suffer from some […]