The Left

The Capitalism Test

  By David Glenn Cox       The US Congress recently voted to remove country of origin requirements from beef and poultry. Some would say it was just needless government regulation, others would answer, it’s a sign that the meat packing industry will soon be evacuating the American landscape. Just like the auto industry, […]

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The Right

What Trump Is Teaching Republicans about Apologies

By George Hewes After the ratings-fantastic Fox News Republican presidential debate, Donald Trump’s enemies seized upon his comments about co-moderator Megyn Kelly as proof that he is coarse, sexist and unfit for office. What followed is what has become one of the liberal media’s favorite games: getting political figures to grovel and apologize for their […]

Short and To the Point…

Hilary Clinton cannot put the e-mail issue to bed!!!!Try the truth!!!

Illegal immigrants to this country Is it possible to send everyone back ( even if they were born in this country!!!!

Syria,Lebanon,Jordan,Saudi Arabia,Iraq, Iran too many fires to put out!!!

Feminine Viagra----will insurance parties pay??

Will Congress vote the Iran Bill down and then overturn the Obama veto????

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

The most one-sided rivalry in sports history has come to an end. The Harlem Globetrotters have ditched the Washington Generals, severing a partnership that lasted 63 years. When asked what team will now play the Globetrotters, Sweet Lou Dunbar, one of the Globetrotters’ coaches said, “We’re searching high and low for ten, dorky white guys who are perennial losers. The ten Republican Presidential candidates who did that dumb Fox TV debate are the front runners.”

Nearly a century later, according to genealogists, new genetic tests confirm for the first time that Nan. Britton’s daughter, Elizabeth Ann Blaesing, was indeed the biological child of America’s 29th president Warren Harding. Dr. Peter Harding, a grandnephew noted, “I had my suspicions that Elizabeth had an affair with Warren. I remember when he was running for President, Liz dressed in a slinky white gown for a birthday party for Warren held at a garden in New York and breathily sang ‘Happy Birthday–Mr. President.’ She then told my mom, ‘I thought Warren was horny but his brothers, Bobby and Teddy Harding, were waaaaaay worse.’”

Another day, another life changed thanks to ubiquitous 3D printing. This time, makers made Faith Lennox, a 7 year old girl from Lakewood, CA a pink and purple arm that lets her grasp objects when she flexes. In gratitude, Faith sat on a 3-D Xerox machine and donated her butt to Taylor Swift.

Thanks to New York Jet quarterback Geno Smith getting his jaw broken by an ex-teammate, I.K. Enemkpali, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced that the NFL rules committee has made a new infraction called “severely roughing up the passer.” “Like what the Jets did to I.K. Enemkpali, all players who severely rough up a passer will not be penalized in yards, but will penalize the player in miles…as in traded to Buffalo. If the threat of living in that ‘city’ doesn’t stop this nonsense, nothing will.”

Tokyo police have said a Japanese man seeking revenge on his two-timing wife is accused of cutting her lover’s penis off with garden shears then flushing it down the toilet. After this uniquely unnecessary circumcision was completed, Godzilla rose from the Tokyo toilet and roared, “What a dick!”

“Route 29 Batman,” the quirky 51-year-old who’d visit sick children in the hospital donning his Batman gear, has died in a car accident. Batman, whose real name is Lenny B. Robinson, was struck by a vehicle near Hagerstown, Maryland. His last words were: “You do understand I’m breaking the law, Commissioner Gordon, by talking on my Batphone while standing on a highway where…Uh oh.” When a highway patrolman saw that he wasn’t the real Batman, he handed Mr. Robinson a ticket for DWI—Driving While Imitating.

You are not a celebrity if Taylor Swift hasn’t brought you on stage. This time around, it was legendary singer-songwriter Joan Baez and Academy Award winner Julia Roberts who joined Swift during her performance of “Style” at her concert in Santa Clara, California. Usually, fans become livid when a singer lip synchs on stage. This time, Taylor Swift became livid when she read the lips of the fans after they mouthed: “Who the hell is that real old lady on stage with Taylor? Joan ‘Biased?’”

Actress Melissa McCarthy is now a fashion designer as her clothing line Melissa McCarthy Seven 7 is launching at major retailers. However, she has a beef with the label “plus size.” She noted, “Seventy percent of women in the United States are a size 14 or above, and that’s technically ‘plus-size,’ so you’re taking your biggest category of people and telling them, ‘You’re not really worthy.’” Clothes designer Tommy Hilfiger replied, “All the ‘Pluses’ wish they were ‘non-Plussed.’ After all, ‘Plus’ got its name from these kind of women when: Liquor Plus no lights on Plus cocaine = Only Time They Get Laid.”

Rosie O’Donnell revealed new details about her adopted daughter, Chelsea, who had been missing for a week since leaving the family’s home north of New York City. After she was found safe and sound in New Jersey with a convicted drug dealer (!?), an embarrassed and private Rosie said, “We tried to keep this family matter under the rug—unfortunately, my wife was munching on one.” When asked if she would change her parenting style, Rosie replied, “Yes. From now on, I’ll learn to adopt better—at least better than this crackpot of a kid I adopted.

The NYPD has shot down an ex-Playboy Playmate’s application for a gun permit, citing her numerous domestic incidents “as both a complainant and a perpetrator. Stephanie Adams, Playboy’s Miss November in 1992, was undeterred saying, “If I can’t get a gun from the cops, then I’ll be a cop in my new TV show set in New York called ‘Car 54-24-44.’ I’ll be Fred Gwynne Jr.’s sidekick—named Titty Muldoon.”

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The MERS virus

    By Lawrence Dall, MD The deadly Middle East Respiratory Syndrome virus received popular attention in the media in April-May 2014.  There have been 701 cases reported worldwide with 249 deaths. The virus was first detected in Saudi Arabia about two years ago. It appears that the host of the virus is the camel and has jumped to the human host.  There have been two cases in the  US, one in Indiana and one in Florida.  Both patients survived and there was no evidence of spread to other people or health care providers. Luckily, it  appears that spread from person to person in the community does not occur easily, however healthcare workers in direct contact have a higher risk. Although global outbreaks of this virus are worrisome, the uptick of cases has slowed considerably and the lack of person-to-person spread is clearly a good thing. The danger of direct […]

Doing Nothing, is Making Progress

By David Glenn Cox If Barack Obama had run for the Presidency against Richard Nixon, Richard Nixon would have been the Democrat. It was Nixon who first created the Environmental Protection Agency, but after the Deep Water Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, it was the Obama administration using oil company estimates for the size of the spill, while silencing the EPA. In 2008, John McCain advocated for a federal hiring freeze and expanded oil drilling on federal lands. Yes, yes, “drill baby, drill!” was their mantra. The Democrat Obama was quick to differentiate himself from the greedy and environmentally reckless Republicans. Obama supported “green energy” which turned out to mean Nuclear energy, just like John McCain. The Obama administration supports real green energy in twelve month increments, while supporting big oil in perpetuity. Going McCain even one better, Obama proposed cutting lease rates on Federal lands to stimulate […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned a Canadian pharmaceutical company that Kim Kardashian’s posts on Instagram and Facebook touting the prescription morning-sickness pill Diclegis were “false and misleading.” Kim immediately disavowed the product and stated, “I’m now promoting a hallucinogenic pill named after me: ‘ASS-id.’” Fox News President Roger Ailes confided that for their recent Republican Presidential Debate, NFL […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Actress Jennifer Garner isn’t listening to what Ben Affleck has to say. A source reveals that the actress has been dodging her estranged husband’s calls since July 29 — the day “Us Magazine” revealed Affleck had dated their former 28 year old nanny, Christine Ouzounian. Ms. Garner sobbed, “I thought we had hired a nanny like ‘Mary Poppins.’ But you […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

On the day Cecil the Lion was cruelly hunted down by a very bloodthirsty and very dim dentist, Cecil’s agent had scheduled him to star in a commercial for the reboot of Purina’s Meow Mix brand. The commercial’s director, Orson Beany, lamented, “Man, I knew something was wrong when that cat showed up late for the shoot–and with an arrow […]

POP/BOOM GOES THE CULTURE!

Demi Moore is shocked by the drowning of a 21-year-old man at her Beverly Hills home. According to the Los Angeles County Coroner’s office, a caretaker of Moore’s property invited the man who drowned, Edenilson Steven Valle, to the house for a party. Ms. Moore’s “shock” paled in comparison to the shock of one the EMT’s who said, “As I […]